When I reach this point in the “cycle”, I always wish I
would stay right here and not cycle back through. Where am I?
Well, I’m back to that point where I realize I've begun to rely on my own strength in the daily battle. I’m
back to that point where I can see the lies that crept back in without my
notice. It’s a gradual progression of
course. Let’s face it, the enemy knows
what works to get this flawed girl to fall into old thought processes. Every time I hit this point I ask God, “Why won't You take this away for good?” The answer is always the same.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made
perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:8)
Ouch. I know by now,
after 24 years of struggling with this that God is not going to take the “thorn”
from my side. It is there for a
purpose. It is there because without it
I might think I’ve “got it all together”.
And if I have those thoughts then what need would I have for grace in
the first place?
It's time to turn that thorn back over to my Savior’s capable,
nail-scarred hands. I am far from "having it all together". To be quite honest, it's a bit of a relief every time I come back to the realization that I don't have to because He does.