I'll admit that during my growing up years, I often wished I were a boy.  Boys seemed to have fewer restrictions on them as far as what was "acceptable" behavior, where as we girls just "weren't supposed to behave that way."  I loved climbing trees, digging holes, playing baseball and building things.  I was a very athletic girl and for a while there could actually beat most of the boys in a foot race.  It certainly wasn't cool for the boys to hang out with girls, much less choose them first when splitting up teams.  I figured out that if I tucked my long hair up into a ball cap I stood a better chance of being chosen sooner (or chosen at all), so that's what I would do.  I guess you could say I despised my femininity.  I wanted to wear pants to church like the boys and my favorite color was blue (still is actually).  When I was in the third grade a boy told me that girls weren't supposed to like blue, they had to like red or pink or some other girlie color, but not blue.  As though my liking blue made me less of a girl.  I told him he was wrong and that a girl could like blue if she wanted to.  He thought I was weird.    

It bothered me to watch girls throw themselves at the boys and act like helpless victims needing to be rescued.  I'm not sure if it was society, or movies or what that made girls associate being feminine with being weak.  Whenever a cute boy was around I'd watch some of my friends' brains leak out onto the floor in a puddle as they flirted shamelessly.  Sure, I dreamed of meeting a man who would love me unconditionally and treat me like a princess....a Princess mind you....not a peasant servant girl, but I wasn't about to pretend I was a damsel in distress just to get their attention.  Unfortunately, I hate to admit there were times I took it to the other extreme and did destroy a few little male egos in my youth.  Today I feel badly about that and sometimes wonder if it affected them long term.  It seemed that women were defined in two ways when I was growing up...."lesser than a man" or "better than a man".  I certainly didn't want to be "lesser" and so I found myself striving to be like the boys.  I was called "Tomboy" (as well as other things) but I didn't care.

Joining the military didn't help matters any but it did make something very clear to me.  I discovered that I could be feminine and still be strong.  I also discovered that I actually wanted to be feminine.  When you are submersed in a predominately male environment (I grew up with all sisters), you learn very quickly that most men do have one major weakness....women.  I didn't have to be a spineless mush of a women or a bra-burning, "I can do anything a man can do" feminist to have power, merely being a woman proved to be quite powerful indeed.  I could walk into a room wearing BDUs (very non-feminine attire) and have the attention of the entire room....simply because I was a woman.  I could genuinely ask for help with something and would have more hands than I needed for the task.  Not because I faked weakness to keep from working but because I was confident enough to know when I truly needed help and wasn't too proud to ask.  At the same time, I found that men are far more likely to accept help from a girl if she doesn't come across like she's trying to show him up or outdo him.

It's unfortunate that more women don't understand how beautifully strong their femininity can be.  Throughout history, countless men have died for the honor of a woman.  Men have killed for women.  Men have committed all kinds of atrocities and also created all kinds of beauty for women.  Even throughout the Bible you can see the influence of women on the men around them.  Sometimes it was good and sometimes it turned out very badly.  If we as women could celebrate what is unique about us rather than stifle it or try to be something we're not, I think we'd find that we'd be respected, loved, praised, adored and taken more seriously.  If we became God's definition of a beautiful woman, we would be an asset to the men in our lives (as well as the younger women looking to us for direction).  We'd reflect a side of Christ that no man could possibly ever display on his best day (each reflecting God's image in our own God given ways).  Yes, men were fashioned by God for a purpose....but so were we.  Our purpose is no less important than the man's and because of our power to influence (whether we realize it or not), in some ways our purpose might just carry a bit more weight (hmm, might be the reason ungodly men throughout the ages have tried to oppress women?).

"I find more bitter than death the woman who is a snare, whose heart is a trap and whose hands are chains. The man who pleases God will escape her, but the sinner she will ensnare."  Ecclesiastes 7:26

Solomon had some major experience with ensnaring women so he should know what he's talking about.  His wives turned his face from God and to the false gods of their countries.  This brought great turmoil on the Israelites for generations to come.  Such a pity too.  He was a strong man, wisest who ever lived and yet...what was his major weakness...women.  Yes, women are influential.  I dare say that the Proverbs 31 woman is no mouse and yet she does possess grace and beauty.  She is also not full of brut strength, but she is indeed strong and quite capable.  The key comes in using this strength and beauty to reflect Christ rather than her flesh.  As believing women, we've got to find the balance between cowering and bra-burning and that can only happen by seeking "first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness".

"The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord."
Psalm 45:11