The sun beat down on the amusement park.  A typical summer day in Texas.  Beads of sweat formed on my face as I walked about with my broom and dust pan scooping up litter left behind by the guests.  A nearby ride exited it’s passengers into the streets again, crowding my path, and so I stepped out of the way waiting for them to clear.  My mind was on anything but work and since I was staring absent-mindedly at the ground it was no surprise I didn’t see the young man coming toward me before he spoke.  “Excuse me, Miss?”  I looked up at him and smiled as we were taught to do when guests to the park approached us.  I fully expected him to ask for directions to the Texas Giant or the Front Gate as those were the questions I fielded most.

“What does that mean?”  He pointed to the strip of leather and colorful beads tied around my wrist.

This wasn’t the question I’d expected…or maybe I was stalling.   “Excuse me?” 

“Your Bracelet,” he pointed again, “I’ve seen people wearing them.  Does it mean anything?”

My heart pounded wildly in my chest and if possible, more sweat beads appeared on my face.  I’m really not sure whether I was embarrassed or afraid (or maybe some of both) but I heard myself blurt out, “Oh it’s just a cool bracelet.”  Immediately I wanted to crawl under a rock.  He stared back at me for a moment and then simply said, “Oh, ok, thanks,” before walking off.  Suddenly I remembered the time Peter exclaimed, "Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You”, but later he does deny Christ just as Jesus said he would.  I imagined I was getting a glimpse right then of how Peter must have felt when that rooster began to crow.  By the time I summoned the courage to tell the man I lied, and that I would be happy to explain it to him, he was gone.

I’m not sure how much time passed that day before the man reappeared in front of me.  “Oh I’m so glad you came back-“ I began but was silenced when he suddenly thrust out his arm revealing the bit of leather and colorful beads tied around his own wrist.  “I guess it’s a good thing I already know what it means,” he said.  Tears threatened to fall as a wave of emotion washed over me.  On the one hand I was relieved that he was already a believer but on the other hand, it troubled me that my silence could have had a negative impact on his eternal future.   I am certain I have never felt more humbled than I did that day.

While talking with him, I discovered that he was a youth pastor who had tried to use me to demonstrate a point to the kids in his group.  I told him how grieved I felt the moment I lied to him and even more so that I was too scared to share.  We talked for quite a while and before he and his group left he said, “I’ll bet you respond differently the next time.”  Oh, glory be to God, I certainly would!

In the weeks that followed, the “next time” came when a co-worker approached me and asked “What does your bracelet stand for?”  I wasted no time in going through the meaning of each knot, each bead and finally asking him what he thought.  He told me he was already a believer but that he’d never felt comfortable talking about it.  He thought the bracelet was a really great tool that could help him tell others too.  He asked if I could get one for him to wear…so I did.  He ended up sharing with some of our other co-workers who asked about the beads around his wrist, and before long I noticed several of us on the crew wearing the bracelets.  I am not even sure how many times I shared the “beads that lead” (as I like to call them) in the years after that.  I know I got quite a bit of practice at it though.

Just before I went off to basic training (Air Force) I discovered another neat tool called the “Gospel Nut”.  Knowing I couldn’t wear my bracelet in basic, I packed the nut in my duffle bag and headed for San Antonio.  During our arrival inspection of our belongings, my Training Instructor (TI) came across the nut.  He examined it and then finally stuck it in my face and yelled, “What is this (cursed) thing, Airman?”

I swallowed hard.  “Sir, it’s a Gospel Nut, Sir.”  My voice cracked and a smile began to tease the edges of my mouth.

“A Gospel what?!”

“Sir, a nut, Sir.”  I was all out smiling now, scared silly and shaking but smiling.

“Airman, you had better explain yourself in the next minute or I’m going to write you up for bringing contraband onto my military base.”  He was still waving the nut in my face, his own face not far on the other side of it staring me down.

“Sir, permission to demonstrate it, Sir.”  He granted me that permission and I proceeded to share the fastest (and probably the strangest with all the “sirs”) rendition of the plan of salvation ever.  When I was finished he asked what denomination I was, he said he was the same but had never heard of this before.  I was grinning ear to ear by this point and when he realized I was smiling he lurched into "angry-TI- mode" again and yelled, “Get back to attention and wipe that (cursed) smile off your face, Airman!”

I snapped to attention and managed to school my features but on the inside I was beaming.  He had no idea I was thinking back to that day at the amusement park when I was too scared to share the exact same thing under far less intimidating circumstances.  Maybe the purpose in my going through that humbling experience was to prepare me for that very moment when I would have the opportunity to share Jesus with not just my TI, but with every Airman in the bay that day looking on in disbelief.

"You shall remember all the way which the LORD your God has led you in the wilderness these forty years, that He might humble you, testing you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not."  Deuteronomy 8:2

You see, that day at the park, I knew all the right words to say.  It wasn’t a knowledge problem, it was a humility problem.  I wasn’t humble enough to let go of the pride and fear and allow God to use those words for His ultimate glory.  I cannot tell you how thankful I am for that experience.  It is one that impacted me greatly and a major reason you will find those beads decorating the “Believer” page of this site.  They are there to remind me what it felt like to watch that man walk away when I refused to obey God.  I never want to forget that lesson in humility.

"In the wilderness He fed you manna which your fathers did not know, that He might humble you and that He might test you, to do good for you in the end."  Deuteronomy 8:16