I have a gal-pal who has been through a lot since I've known her.  We met on a message board 7 years ago this month.  I never would have dreamed one of my best friends would come from the internet.  The board we met on was a weightloss related one for new moms.  We both showed up there with more than what we needed in fat reserves.  Together we cheered each other on to our goals...which we met.  And then...all our hard work came unraveled.  Our lives took different paths, the boards were a faint memory and we each let things distract us from taking care of ourselves.  We gained back the weight...plus some.  We've been struggling to get our footing again with this whole "weightloss" business and we've both failed...time and again.  It's a cycle that many of you probably know all too well.

While preparing for Christmas, I decided that 2007 would be different for me and just recently I told my friend of my game-plan.  She was happy for me, but she said, "I miss that drive, you know what I'm talking about, that pull in your gut that just tells you that YOU ARE GOING TO SUCCEED!"  And indeed I did know what she was talking about.  She went on to say, "I just wish I could find that little spark within me to get this going again."  At that moment I realized something...I too have been waiting for that little spark.  Like somehow because I had it once, it will magically reappear and then this will get easy.

I started my new plan of attack on Tuesday and I can tell you, I felt no spark...whatsoever.  In fact, if we truly have an inner "brat" as I've heard we do - mine was pitching a royal fit.  Serious internal temper tantrums going on here.  It was to the point that I almost backed out of starting my little "bootcamp" several times but I kept telling myself that the next year is going to pass no matter what I do.  So, I picked up the matches and now I keep on striking them, praying for that spark. I've eaten on plan for three days, drank my water, taken my vitamins and even worked out...no spark yet.   In fact, I've felt worse and cranky.

I believe that sometimes (like with my friend and I), we can't wait for the spark...we have to create the spark.  It starts with doing what you know you have to even though everything in your body screams NOOOOOOO.  It starts with just believing that if we can make it through breakfast....then lunch...then dinner...this week, then next week, then the week after...the heat will begin to build on that match...the brat will stop raining on our fire wood and suddenly the darn thing will ignite!  Then, once that spark shows, every workout, every good meal, every glass of water is like throwing gasoline on it!

But in the beginning, we stand in the rain with soaking wet wood striking the matches. It will eventually light, but we have to be diligent.  I've picked up the matches many times over the last several years, only to toss them aside after a bit of frustration.  I'm going to hold on till my hands are bloody if I have to this time.  I'm begging God to help me to just hold on and to please speed up the spark's arrival.

So, I conveyed most of this to my friend and I think she's going to start striking her matches too.  What about you?  Still waiting for the spark?  What about picking up your matches and joining us?