"Love never fails; Joy cometh; Peace rules; Patience waits;
Kindness tenders; Goodness does; Faith fights; Gentleness..."
Ah yes, Gentleness. Beth opened last week's homework by saying, "This character trait denotes a life surrendered to real power." Another quote I loved from day one came from a description of the Greek word praotes (translated gentleness):
"That virtue that stands between two extremes, uncontrollable and unjustified anger, and not becoming angry at all no matter what takes place around you."
I've known people who exhibit the "extremes". I have a friend in fact whose favorite phrase is "well, what can ya do?" I have another friend who uses the phrase, "that just burns me up" often. I have also been in the extremes but it's certainly not where I want to be. I want to be "standing between the two". Beth went on to illustrate sometimes how painful "surrendering to God" can be (especially when we've avoided it) but how it is often what's best for us. Did anyone else just sob when she told the story about her daughter's hair? Boy I did! What a beautiful visual that was!
It seemed so appropriate that we would move into submission to God (or "to cease fighting God"). God tells us over and over to "humble ourselves".
"...you will find that humility is the correct estimation of ourselves which results from a correct estimation of our God."
Is that deep or what! But think about it. If we really took stock of who God is...we might see that "I AM" is not about us at all. I dare say that we would find ourselves prostrate a lot more often seeking the face of God. Wasn't it so beautiful to read the account of John the Baptist and his obvious display of humility. He knew whom he served, he knew his purpose.
"He must become greater; I must become less." John 3:30
Along with humility, I desire to be teachable. I think for the most part I am but I do struggle with this at times. I am certain I've been a "Balaam" before (although I've never physically beat anyone or anything). I wonder how often I've had in my mind what I was to do and the Angel of the Lord has stood in my way. I keep thrashing my way toward what I think is right and not stopping to consider that perhaps I'm being hindered for a reason. I think I'm growing more sensitive to this though. I don't want to "make something happen", I want God all in it.
What about King David's disobedience in moving the ark of God? I've heard the story of Uzzah dying and while I'm not for questioning God's reasoning, in my ignorance I thought it harsh. Having studied the situation further, it surprises me David's actions didn't bring a curse on the entire kingdom! God is serious and when we fail to take His commands seriously, He's going to grab our attention any way He can. Beth explains that, "David accepted tragedy and failure as a challenge to search God's Word." Wow!! Imagine if we did this every time our "donkey" flung us rather than getting angry, acting like brats and forging ahead in our own strength with our own plans. I loved this quote of Beth's toward the end of Day four (emphasis mine):
"...we miss one of the most crucial purposes of difficult circumstances if we don not accept them as invitations to get into God's Word! If we miss their purposes, we miss God's instruction; thus, we often inadvertently sign up for the same class again!"
Yikes! How many times have I been enrolled in the same class? A ridiculous number I'm certain! I am currently enrolled in a couple of classes...for a repeat lesson. Speaking of "lessons", I really liked the comparisons between "teaching" and "preaching". Beth explains that "the emphasis of 'preaching' is most often 'the lost' and the emphasis of 'teaching' is most often 'the saved'". It's one of the things I love about our church's "reach up, reach out, reach in" philosophy. I also enjoyed meditating on Hebrews 6:1 for a bit:
"Therefore let us leave the elementary teachings about Christ and go on to maturity, not laying again the foundation of repentance from acts that lead to death, and of faith in God,"
This verse really struck me, not because I lack a desire to mature but because I don't ever want to "stall-out" in the learning process. At the same time, I want to be the kind of teacher described in Day five [lifestyle, opposition, sharing] to my kids (and anyone else who cares to be taught lol). Which of course leads me to the Session 9 video. I know I'm not doing these in the "outlined" order but this video did go with last week's homework.
...Gentleness bows
Just as we learned in our homework, Beth reiterated the importance of recognizing what gentleness really is. Gentleness is all about "humble submission to God's will". Our sister, Beth, explained the "before" and "after" timing of God in relation to submission. I could relate to this. I'm in the middle of "before" submission. When Erik first started looking for another job, I knew our lives were going to change. I not only had to submit to God in this, I had to submit to my husband. As events began to unfold, I got some more "before" warning as to just how much "change" we were in for. And now, here we are having begun the 6th week of Erik working out of state, the fourth week of living with my parents and the third week of our house being on the market. During the last six weeks I have questioned and even stamped my foot a few times. I've had a couple of pity parties and been absolutely certain I'd not make it another day (at least I was certain I didn't want to anyway lol). When Beth mentioned pitching a fit in her car that day I laughed. I've done that very thing! I told you last week that I've thrown fits before God like a spoiled child. Well, this last week I came quite close to one.
I was allowing the circumstances to eat at me and I pouted and told God I wanted this over with....now! He was silent. He knows what He's doing you know. My darling mother and I have some unresolved "stuff". Well, I'm living with my parents and...I guess I've been walking about "still bloody". The wounds I thought were healed and forgiven surfaced last week. They weren't "scars" at all, they were gaping wounds. You see, I don't think God has me in their house to make it easy for me to sell my own. I don't think He has me here for any other reason than to force my mom and I to talk some stuff out. So, last Thursday, we were forced to. Lots of tears and "I'm so sorry's" later and I could feel my heart begin to mend. I pray she felt it as well. And now, my prayer for both of us is "Lord, go to all the broken places", bind them up and heal them! I am also praying this in regard to the death of my son, Bryan. Beth had me thinking about the "after" kind of submission and Bryan's death was one of those nuclear bombs in my life. The "our lives will never be the same" kind of event. I haven't thought I was failing to "accept" and submit to this as God's will for my life, but maybe I am trying to cling to something there. I need to pray on that one some more.
It's interesting that Beth would mention Job 1:20-22 - the Newsboys song, Blessed be Your Name has been on my heart for weeks now.
Be still, and know that I am God;
Psalm 46:10a