As most of you know, a group of bloggers recently decided to move through Beth Moore's Living Beyond Yourself study. Thirty of us embarked on this journey on March 27th. You'll find links to the other participants below. Just like last week, I'll be at the airport and visiting with my hubby during the normal "posting time" so I hope to get this finished early.
"I want to be taught. When we cease being teachable, we cease being true disciples."
How fantastically true that is! I want to be taught also. In the spirit of "being taught", I absolutely loved Beth's explanation of the differences between peacemakers and peacekeepers. Did the phrase "peacekeeper missile" come to anyone else's mind? Now, please do not misunderstand - I am all in favor of our military; support it, back it, lived it, married it. But isn't it so appropriately named? There will never be true peace on this earth prior to Christ's coming reign.
The personal rule of Christ = difference between peace and turmoil!
This was huge for me! The kids and I moved (for the most part anyway) into my parents' home this week. Now, I love my parents and they truly are wonderful people, but there is just something weird about moving back in with them after all these years. Also bear in mind that when I left their home just over 12 years ago to join the military, I was leaving behind a bit of turmoil. I had two younger teenaged sisters (I myself was only 19) and there was very little "peace" from day to day. Turmoil, yes, that's the word for it. One of my sister's in particular was going through a lot of junk at the time that seemed to have the household in a constant state of chaos and weeping. In addition to remembering all of this, I have changed a great deal in the last decade alone. I was quite uncertain how all of this was going to work to be quite honest. When it was decided on Tuesday that we'd make the shift, I was utterly against it. My heart was far from "at peace". I wanted to keep things as they were despite the impending need for change.
So, what did I have to do? Allow Christ to rule. Sounds simple and in reality, in this situation it hasn't been as difficult as I'd have imagined. When turmoil begins to stir in my heart I have to ask, "is this of God or of the flesh?"
"To the degree that we are filled with ourselves we are explosives."
I cannot even begin to tell you all the opportunities I've had to "explode" over this last week. I'm sure many of you can relate. The quote above kept popping into my head each time and I'd realize the "self" meter was rising and the "Spirit" meter was lowering. So, back on my knees, on my face, in my car, in my bed, on the toilet - where ever lol - I'd be brought right back to "pour out/pour in/pour forth". When Erik was here last weekend we were driving back to our house one afternoon. The kids were jabbering in the back and we were listening to a Newsboys CD. I began to sing along with the song below. I hesitate to share what I experienced as I'm sure some will find me a tad loony, but I will anyway :o) |
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Presence
by Newsboys
I lift up my voice
To The King, The King of glory
I hold out my hands
To The One who is worthy
I long for Your presence
I long, Lord, I need Your touch
Come, oh Lord, and fill up my life
With the light of Your presence
This is my heart's desire
Oh Father, come and let Your spirit abide
I long for Your presence
This is my heart's desire
I long to be washed
In the well of Your mercy
I long to be warmed
by the fire of Your glory
I long for Your presence
I long for Your healing touch
Come, oh Lord, and fill up my life
With the light of Your presence
This is my heart's desire
Oh Father, come and let Your spirit abide
I long for Your presence
This is my heart's desire
It's my desire
(I wanna feel Your presence)
Lord, it's my desire
(I wanna feel Your presence)
Lord, You're my desire
(I wanna feel Your presence)
I wanna feel Your presence
I wanna feel Your presence
I wanna feel Your presence, Jesus
Come, oh Lord, and fill up my life
With the light of Your presence
This is my heart's desire
(this is my heart's desire, oh...)
Come and let Your spirit abide
I long for Your presence (presence...)
This is my heart's desire
(this is my heart's desire, oh...)
It's my desire
Lord, You're my desire
Lord, You're my desire |
By the time I hit the first chorus I was tingling from head to toe and tears began to stream down my cheeks uncontrollably. Note, I wasn't "sobbing" per say, just was so filled with emotion that my eyes began to weep without warning. The more I sang "fill up my life" and "I want to feel your presence" the tingling increased as did my tears and smile and... my heart "swelled with joy" (can you see me signing "joy"?).
People have got to think I'm crazy these days. Ever since last week I've been using my "I'm at peace" answer to "how are you holding up." They do a double take and then seem to say no more or begin to ask other questions. Oh there was so much about the video on "peace" that I loved. "We're just trying to keep the tiger in the apartment" and "we do not so often have a knowledge problem as we do an obedience problem" are just two of the many points I took to heart.
As we moved into "Patience", I knew all the more that this study was for me again this week. The timing for all of this has been absolutely perfect. Wasn't the first lesson in regard to "hope" refreshing? We got to move through one of my favorite Biblical lives some more (Job) and discover what his true motivators were to remain faithful. I loved how Beth contrasted the Greek and English definitions of hope in this way:
"We think of hope as a positive thought or wish toward something we might obtain. The biblical concept of hope is a positive outlook toward and expected end. Biblical hope is not focused on what might happen but what must happen."
Oh and wasn't Job 23:8-10 just precious! If that didn't melt your heart, please check to make sure it's still beating at least! Of course we moved from Job, and the understanding of patience in regard to circumstance, to the fruit-of-the-Spirit-style patience (makrothumia). The latter deals with people and as Beth shares..."is impossible except when expressed by God through us." I know that's right!
Ok, now why don't they teach us in Sunday School as kids just how patient God was with the people of Noah's day? I had never heard that he waited 120 years to destroy the earth with water. 120 YEARS! That is a long long time! Talk about serious patience. Really makes you wonder what God is thinking when He looks down on the world today.
Wasn't it neat to see how God ordained Noah to preach and build an ark while he waited. Wasn't it also incredible to see that Noah was unable to find even one convert in that time! Then Beth said, "How often we base success and favor on visible evidence." (emphasis mine) I know I do this at times. I underlined this quote because it was an area I needed reassurance in lately.
Speaking of reassurance, during one of my pour out times this week, I found myself listing a particular sin....yet again. This time as the Holy Spirit was bringing it to my mind to confess, He gently whispered...
"but you're doing better"
I knew what He meant as the incidences of that particular sin were fewer and I smiled and replied..."because of You" |
| Now, that's not to say that next time He'll advise me the opposite but it is so nice to get an encouraging word in the midst of "pouring out".
The segment on "Judge Not" was good. I think so often people can get hung up on one extreme or the other and miss the whole meaning altogether. I found it interesting to note that God leans toward mercy more often than judgment. Perhaps He can put it into perspective better than we can - He knows when the "ultimate judgment" is coming and is in no hurry to see anyone perish. I am certain I have "judgmental moments", I've caught myself on several occasions "mentally judging" someone. I have asked for a heightened awareness of this in my life and I believe God is granting me that very thing lol.
And finally we moved into Mercy and Forgiveness. Since I recently did my own study In Relation To Forgiveness, I found this as a much needed review of what I learned back in January. There were two things Beth said on the topic that I just loved and so I'll post them in closing:
"Satan will stop at nothing to broaden the wedge unforgiveness drives between us and our Savior. Why? Because he knows that it is impossible to be filled with the Spirit and filled with unforgiveness."
"Christ has a purpose in the pain you've suffered or He never would have allowed it. Until you surrender to His purpose in the specific matter at hand, He cannot work it for your good. Do you know what that means? It all happened in vain - for absolutely nothing." |