When you're a wife and mother, you've got to have skills.  Everyday you've got some new challenge whether it's something as small as figuring out what's for dinner or as big as rushing Jr. to the emergency room in a mad panic for a broken leg.  The moment you say "I do" you realize that, while men are quite self-sufficient, your husband does have needs that only you can fill.  You figure out each other's strengths and weaknesses and you decide who will be responsible for what and what things you'll both take care of.  Things are going well, some adjustments are being made but you're both weathering the storm called, "who is this person I married."  You figure you'll have it down to a science soon and just when you're both in a rhythm - BAM!!

Amazing how two lines can change everything.  Suddenly "wifely" skills aren't enough, you've got to pick up some "mothering skills" and you need them yesterday.  Sure, you've got about nine months to come to grips with some things but moments after the pain killers wear off you realize you had no idea what was coming.  Oh sure, becoming a mom for the first or second or even eleventh time is a miracle.  It's a special thing and even, five deliveries later my heart longs for another.  The fact of the matter is, none of us are just born knowing what to do like cats are.  Some things might be instinctive but let's face it, most aren't when it comes to being a mom.

So this new little person comes on the scene.  For me, I was in the technology field when I quit work to stay home with my kids.  Talk about a shock to not just the family budget but to my self-esteem.  Who am I?  What am I doing?  You become an expert on what cocktail is best for what stains on clothing.  You know exactly how long it really takes for your old dryer to dry a load of jeans (despite what the dial might promise).  You know what cry means "I'm hungry" and what cry means "I'm lonely".  You know the mail comes promptly at 2pm and that if you mail your house bill on a certain day each month it will get there in the nick of time and not a moment too soon or too late.  You know where everything you need is located in the grocery aisle and can be in and out of there about five times faster than your helpful hubby.

You've had to do a little of everything and so often it's not uncommon for stay at home moms to lack fulfillment (especially with small children at home).  The demands on you are limitless and 24/7.  You could be making a costume for the school play one minute and find yourself calling poison control the next because somehow Jr figured out how to unlock the baby proofed cabinets.  While you're reading board books and teaching the ABC's you know you're falling further and further behind when it comes to whatever you were doing before you came home.  You have no idea what is happening in the world but you do know that Luvs now makes "cloth-like" diapers and that children's cold medicine stains anything it lands on.

I've been out of the "work force" for going on nine years.  I'm certainly not up on all the latest as far as technology goes but I have tried to keep my head in the game at least some.  Dabbling with various new software, doing some graphic design and even publishing some sites here and there have helped me feel like I'm keeping at least some of those old skills "refreshed".  If you're a stay at home mom and your only reason to get up in the morning is because the baby is crying, it's time to find a hobby.  You need something that's "yours".  It's ok to be a "jack of all trades", in fact, most moms have to be to be effective (the more kids you have, the longer the list gets), but you need to be a master of at least one or two things.  So, find something that interests you and begin researching it.  Find out everything you can on it and then the next time you're at a playgroup, share some of what you've learned.  I promise, you'll impress your friends and at the same time, you will be growing.  Board books and Elmo puzzles are great, but we need more than that to stimulate and grow our minds each day.