Scribblings

If you've ever set a challenging goal, no doubt you've been faced with answering the question, "How much do you want it?"  Sometimes we determine that the goal just isn't worth the sacrifice and other times we buckle down and "get 'er done".  It's one thing to grapple with this within yourself and it's a whole other experience to see your kids deal with it.  Our oldest daughter faces the question almost daily as she rises early for warm-ups, workouts, practice and skating lessons.  I've watched her cry over elements that seemed to "take forever" (her words) to land.  Every time I would say, "Well, how much do you want it?" or "Will the end result be worth the work?"  Well, today a line was drawn in the sand that forced this question in a big way.

Somewhere along the line her occassional habit of having her eyes and chin down morphed into something she does quite a bit.  I (and her coaches) began to feel like a broken record... "Eyes up!  Head up!"  It's probably become more noticeable since some dancers started skating during her normal freestyle ice.  She's clearly intimidated by their size and speed.  Of course, it doesn't help that they've almost run her over a few times.  Whatever the reason, today I decided something needed to be done.  I try not to interrupt her lessons but the head down thing was on my last nerve so I shouted, "Head up!"  She didn't raise it.  In fact, this child who is normally quite sweet and respectful ignored the next two times I shouted it as well.  Oh yes, every mother reading this can probably relate to the feelings this stirred within me.  I tried to excuse her in my mind, "oh, she's just having an off day, she doesn't normally behave this way" and "maybe she didn't hear me."  For some reason, I just could not let it go though.  Her lesson ended and as she skated away I told her to get her head up and was met with pursed lips.  There it was, the expression that set off the chain of events that would follow.  I followed her coach to the lobby where I borrowed a neck brace from her.  Yes, she keeps a neck brace there for this very thing.  I marched back out to the ice with that thing in hand.  Panic registered on her face when she saw it.  She shook her head at me, at first it was a defiant "I am NOT wearing that" but as she skated closer and saw the look on my face, that changed to "please don't make me".  It was too late for a mercy plea in my mind.  She was wearing it... period.

I strapped it around her neck, she pursed her lips and just stood there on the ice.  I told her to go skate and to "keep her head up".  I really thought she would rise to the occassion.  I really did.  I thought she'd see that I was trying to help.  She started crying and half-heartedly moved around the ice.  She even kicked the ice with her toe pick in protest.  This of course, was not helping her case at all.  Now, I should point out that there was only ONE other girl on the ice and there was no worry that she would make fun of my daughter.   So, it isn't like I set out to embarass her in front of a crowd.  She was mad.  When we got in the car she changed her attitude but it was too little too late.   I was mad now.

After talking to my husband, we decided that she would have three weeks to break the habit or she would lose the private lessons.  She was a little shocked when I told her the news but she knows we mean it.  Taking away ice time... that would get some reaction.  Taking away lessons... OH MY GOODNESS!!  This decision wasn't just about getting her to break the habit, it was to remind her where the funding for the sport she loves actually comes from (read: don't give your momma attitude).  This may seem like an overreaction to a minor thing but this isn't minor.  She has set goals and she will not acheive them by keeping her head down on the ice.  And so, I asked her "how much do you want it?"

Only God knows whether she'll break the habit or not; However, I'm happy to report that after some time alone in her room she emerged with verses to help her keep a positive attitude during the process.  We also registered for a competition that she really wants to skate with the stipulation that if she doesn't get to do it she will pay us back the fee.  I believe the Lord can help her overcome this but what's better is that she believes it too.

Since ditching the title "soccer mom" for "skater mom" I've discovered that what you wear really does matter.  Not just for the skater but for the mother freezing to death in the stands.  My girls, especially Kate, tend to get really cold on the ice.  We were piling on the thick layers only to find out that she couldn't move as well.  I refuse to buy the pant suits designed for figure skaters as they are very expensive (and she's getting a team warm up anyway).  I'm still in the stage where I want to make sure she is going to stick with this before we sink too much cash in.  Still, she needs to be warm so we made our way to REI (we're members) and found her some cute polar fleece items to create lighter, warmer layers.  We found some great warm but thin gloves also so she can move her hands.  She also wears long underwear that we picked up at Target.  Having full range of motion is important.  Her toes still get cold but she's getting some "official skating tights" for Christmas that I hope will help with that.  We got both the under and over the boot kind so she'll be wearing double layers.

As for my freezing buns, well, I finally caved and purchaced some Under Armour.  Pricey but quite effective.  I can wear it under my regular winter clothes and stay much warmer than I had been.  I'm convinced that rink maybe the reason I've been so ill.  I also take a thick blanket to sit on as the bleachers are metal (brrrr).  I wear wool socks and my snow boots too.

When my oldest daughter, Kate(9), was three years old she told me she wanted to learn how to ice skate.  Her brother took a class at the local mall when he was about four and she wanted to be out on that ice so badly.  I figured I would have to be out there with her and well, being very pregnant, that wasn't going to happen.  After the baby arrived money, time and sanity all took a hit.  The last thing I wanted to think about was ice skating.  It was expensive anyway.  We pushed the poor dear into sports we knew and understood like soccer and softball.  Neither of which put a smile on her face for very long.  Her heart just wasn't in them.  I wondered if we would ever find "her thing".

While we traveled with Erik during the two years he spent as a contractor, we suspended all organized sports but promised to resume them when we settled down again.  Any time we had the discussion of "what would you like to try" my darling daughter's first response was always, "Ice skating".  As the Lord would have it, the house we ended up buying here in Colorado is only about a mile from an ice rink that has, you guessed it, a "Learn to Skate" program.  Erik checked into it and discovered that it wasn't as pricey as we remembered so we enrolled her in the Basic one class.  I have never see this child this excited over anything - ever.  Erik phoned from her first lesson to tell me that the girl couldn't sit still while she waited for class to start.  If you know Kate, you know this is totally out of character for her.  I think that first class began in September and she's be going ever since.  She loves it.  I now take her to all classes, lessons and practices.  I feel like it is something that we are sharing even though I'm not out on the ice with her.

In the last couple of months an opportunity has come up for her to join a local skate team.  I have felt so overwhelmed at times just trying to learn about all the gear and terms and competitions.  I guess it's good that I can take on some of that for her and she can just enjoy her time on the ice.  Of course, the expenses do begin to add up quickly.  She has a private coach now and skates and her team warm up should arrive at our house on Sunday.  Then there are the entry fees, ice fees, music prep fees...etc.  People have asked me if we're moving in this direction because we've seen natural talent - well, as I don't know squat about figure skating I can't judge whether she has talent or not.  What I do know is that her face lights up when we talk about it.  She loves going to class or just skating in general. 

Right now, the only draw back (other than cost) is how cold it is in the stands at our little rink.  I am going to have to acclimate or I'll be sick all the time.  This session we've added the younger two girls also (6 & 4).  They are in the classes but not on the team as of yet.  I can't tell if they love it because they love it or they love it because their big sister loves it.  Sometimes I wish I had listened when she said she wanted to skate all those years ago.  I feel so silly now for taking this long to let her give it a try.  Maybe I was afraid she would actually like it?  Talk about taking me out of my comfort zone.  This former Florida girl doesn't have much experience with winter sports.